STRANGE PHENOMENA

Ever since returning from Disney something rather strange has been happening: 

 Even with my eyes open, i have but to imagine the places i visited and i get these vivid halucinatory visions!

i can see and smell so clearly!    It’s as if a part of my brain has awakened and is trying to play a sick trick on me.   i can even see these visions in color – something that typically eludes me.  i’m not quite sure what it means or what this strange development might be telling me, but i’m concerned that it might just be that i don’t take enough vacations.

i don’t know anyone who’d say they take too many, save for a few zealous, masochistist, workaholics; or maybe the guilty, insipid rich.   It could be that there’s something unique about the Disney experience.  i know that in advance of the trip i set my mind to view it as a pilgrimage. The seriousness of such a journey has the potential to predispose oneself to powerful experiences and memories.  Maybe i ate a bad donut at the D squared in Logan!  i really can’t say for sure why what i’m experiencing is happening, or if it’s indeed remarkable.

Does everybody go through this?  Is this really how life is supposed to be indellibly imprinting on my mind? If it is, i’ve been cheated until late.  i’d hate to think that i’ve actually been asleep all these years.  It isn’t a stretch really, when i consider much of my life.  So much of it’s been so… uninspired.

So i could be this modern day Rip Van Winkle; snoozing away with my eyes open for 42 years (or at least since puberty).  The best part of all this is that i still get to enjoy the old blessings upon waking up.  My family isn’t dead.  i don’t have amnesia (though with some things a bit of memory loss would be convenient).

i’d have rather woken up with my old body – not THE old body that i’ve grown to tolerate. i could use a bit more hormone production.

(Strike that….. that’s too often been more trouble than it’s worth.  i’ll consider depleted testosterone levels a new blessing.)

So here i am, going about my daily routines just like i did before vacation.   But there’s this part of my brain that has this whole world stored in it.   i know that’s not unusual.   It’s called memory.   Yet now my memories – even the ones before Disney – are….different, vivid, defined.   i’m hoping for more than a psychotic yet pleasant distraction from this new world inside my head.   My  prayer is that God is waking me to the possibilities.

Not just any possibilities; a great man once said that man is content to wallow in the dust and eat mud-pies because he doesn’t understand the offer of a holiday as sea.   Though i’ve been a Christian for 15 years or so, i feel like only now am i just beginning to stir from my self-centered slumber.   Not that i didn’t experience spurts of energy toward godly application in the past, but in retrospect it all seemed so self-indulgent.   Now at 42 i’m seeing how difficult it is for a person who’s comfortable and stable to put their life’s collection of stuff on the line for Christ.   Maybe that’s why God – in his twisted, humorous way – has seen fit to keep personal accomplishment from me.   No one knows my ego like He does.

Perhaps you could pray for me……right now.   i’ll wait.

Thanks.   i need so much more than i can supply.   There’s no way to sustain what’s effervescing inside me with the innate drive i possess.   Blow me away, Lord.   Please.